It's been awhile

Hey everyone. Its been awhile since i last wrote, i don't know, i guess I've just been kind of busy.....with nothing lol. Anyhow, nothing really important has happened so i don't know what to say exactly..... I'll just kinda write thoughts as they come to my head.......not a good idea, my thoughts at the moment are not exactly rated PG ;). Oh i got something.

So for this past/present school year i have been very confuzzled! *Sigh* ok, so just recently i told myself that i wouldn't fall for *funny boys because they bring nothing but pain to me, and cause trouble. Pain because funny boys never like me the way i like them, we may be friends but never more. Cause trouble because, compared to the 25 *serious boys i have liked throughout my boy liking years (10-15) i like 5 funny boys and all the sudden one of the serious boys (who was just trying to scorn me because i rejected him) decides to spread the rumor that "i only like funny boys" to the the rest of the serious boys. And to me its just like, ok so what i am not attracted to you?, that doesn't mean go and ruin my chances with other guys!

So yeah, now that you have heard the history of the story here's the REAL problem. I am totally crushing on my sixth funny boy, and its kind of ridiculous. Because this funny boy acts serious and acts as if he goes for serious girls, and he's constantly flirting with me. And i'm particularly furious because, when i decided to leave the funny ones alone one comes along that likes me for my serious self! And I know you're probably like, "It's not a big deal go for the funny boy!" but its not that simple, because i have told like all of my friends that i would NEVER like another funny boy. And they believe me, so now if i fall in love with this funny boy i would be untrustworthy because i lied! But he's so cute and SO serious, even though he's FUNNY!

And the more i try to act like i don't want him the more he shows that he wants me! Like for instance yesterday, before school started i was walking around with my friend breejea, and my friend chaz. And chaz was trying to get me to go to math tutoring with him, but i went on Tuesday so I felt i had completed my duty to math for the week (lol). So as me and chaz are walking arm in arm (chaz is serious by the way) down the hall i see....(oh lol, i haven't given him a name yet! Let's say..... Gavin, yeah Gavin. ok.) i see **Gavin, and chaz stops to talk to some girls that are my friends too however Gavin was coming closer so i start to walk away pretending to look fro breejea who has magically disappeared. She's nowhere in sight, so i go back to talk with Chaz and the girls. Then Gavin comes up behind me to where we're standing back to back (i may inform you that he has a good 7in on me) and he leans backwards so i put my arms through his so i don't fall and he's all "I'm gonna lean back up and pick you up" and i'm like "No you're not!" Which of course he does "And i'm all Gavin put me down!" trying to sound angry but smiling ear to ear the whole time. Then he walks me down the hall, ON HIS BACK!, and stops at Chaz's locker and is all "hey Chaz i got a present for you." and chaz is all "who Kennedy?" and he's like "yeah i delivered her to your locker" and i'm like yeah, cause i couldn't have walked that horribly long distance on my own. and gavin goes "Of course not, see all i do is try and help you out" *sigh* then after school i kick him in the butt playfully while he's at the water fountain, and he kicks me back equally playfully and i'm like "Hey, you'r not posed to hit me back!" and he goes "why?" and i go.... actually i forgot what i said but either way the convo ends up with him saying "You didn't say that last night." and i'm just like "Uh?!" and he laughs and is like "Well, i guess that;s different cause this was my foot and, last night it was my _____" (and of course he says it, but I"M not gonna say it!) and i'm like "yeah that IS quite different! you are gross, goodbye"........who am i kidding, I can;t lie to you guys this is a blog of honesty! What i really said was "yeah, that's different! It hurt when you kicked me {[(when it really didn;t but i was faking weakness)]} and last night it felt good" and he laughs and we leave together. Except i couldn't stay with him for long because my club SADD (student's against destructive decisions) {i'm the PREZ. by the way!} was having a christmas party and i didn't want to be late. *Sigh* So you see my dilemma, NO funny boy has ever talked sexually like that to me, only to my funny girl friends (which i know because they told me{the funny girls that is}) And it was confusing, because i didn't want to like it but.....i did.

*SIGH!* Sorry i piled all that on you! lol i know this was like the longest entry so far, but i had to get it off my chest.

PS- I didn't see Gavin at all today :(
PSS- Wait, IDC! AH! IDC,IDC,IDC!


*- here's a hint to figure out the funny,serious code. Gavin has White boy,Black boy swagg. NOT black boy, white boy swagg. But White boy, Black boy swagg. I think that should help.....

**- Whenever there is any number of asterisks beside a name, I'm using a fake name, if there is no asterisk it's a real name.